Thursday, April 7, 2011

Service Complainer

Have you ever been out to eat with that guy? You know, that "guy." Or maybe you've been at a table near that guy. To who am I referring? It's the guy (or lady) who is always unhappy about the service. The guy who thinks the waitstaff at Outback should treat him like he's at multi-Michelin starred restaurant. Once seated, he is looking around for the waiter and talking about the service. He never makes eye contact with his waiter and treats them like they are the lowest member of the caste system. He asks for more water, but "with less ice this time, pal." Oh yeah, he always uses pal or chief or some other demeaning nickname for this low-life serving him. These people write horrible reviews of restaurants but rarely mention the food. They focus on the servers, how long it took them to get their food, or how cold the restaurant was. Things people really don't care about. I wish this guy wouldn't eat out. He seems to never enjoy his meal. I also want to be a waiter for the sole reason of asking what country he is king of, and always serve his food with a bow or curtsy. No one is this important. Waiters are not your personal servants or butlers. They work on tips, the tip of 13% he leaves.
Oh yeah, he also treats flight attendants like his waiter in the sky. If your this guy, stay at home, unless you're married. In that case, your wife probably wants you out of the house often because you're constantly complaining about dinner and the cleanliness of the house. If you see this guy, punch him for me.