Critics

I've grown fond of watching the show, "Top Chef." I started with the last season in New York, I've continued to watch the "Top Chef: Masters," and am looking forward to this upcoming season in Las Vegas. One of the things that has been more noticeable is the role of the food critics. For those unfamiliar with the show, these well-known food critics evaluate and rate the food that is prepared by the chefs. Everyone is familiar with all the other food critics who may write reviews for your local paper or even magazines.

Anyways, as I watched this show, I realized something: Critics really annoy me! I'm going to throw film critics in here as well. Sure, they serve their purpose, and one could argue that they are needed. However, I would question how much they can really relate with normal society. While there is nothing wrong with being an eloquent writer and possessing a grandiose vocabulary, one could question if that's really necessary in describing food. With "Top Chef" it seems like these writers are trying to impress viewers with how detailed they can describe food and breakout colorful synonyms for the food's consistency, but we're all wondering one thing: was the food good? Why this rant, you may ask? Here's the thing, I know good food, I'm extremely passionate about food, and I like to talk about food, but I'll never be a food critic. Why? Because I'm not a great writer (maybe not even a good writer). So why should writing Hemingway-esque reviews of restaurants matter? I don't know. Apparently, someone somewhere decided that restaurant reviews should be so colorful that no one could read the black-and-white: did you like the restaurant? Many of these critics write/speak with such arrogance about food and restaurants that you might think they were once chefs, but the profession bored them. I tend to think that they weren't quite good enough to write novels so they settled for writing about food. Film critics are exactly the same. There's no need to only give good reviews to independent movies and completely ignore big blockbusters. I don't care what a film critic thinks, I'm going to listen to people I know, not some moron who probably wears an ascot to the movie theater.

This leads me to my next point. Have you ever seen a job opening for a food critic? Before you go surfing on Monster or Craigslist, know this, you won't find anything. No one is looking for a food critic, but they should be. They should be looking for someone who doesn't attempt to impress people with words but attempts to tell the diner about the restaurant itself. What did the food taste like, how was the service, were there a bunch of people taking doggie bags out, etc.

Critics, don't try to garner some great book deal with your local reviews. Remember, you're not a chef, you can't cook as good as one, otherwise you would have a restaurant. I hate seeing chefs stutter around critics and lower their head as they receive a bad review. While reviews are necessary, critics need to get off their high horse and realize they aren't better than everyone just because they didn't have to apply for their job. It most likely fell in their lap.

Author's note: I do believe that there are some good food critics out there, not a lot, just some. I'd love to hear their opinion of the growing popularity of sites like Yelp where "regulars" can provide reviews of restaurants.

Mass Produced Service?

We've all had a bad experience at a restaurant in which we wondered if the waiter/waitress even knew we existed. Perhaps an entire meal passed without water being filled or every other table appeared to receive bread with their meal, except you or they were just flat out rude. Now we can probably account for some bad service being related to someone having a bad day or if you always encounter bad service, you might be the issue; however, there are some serious problems. My simple argument might be that the more you pay, the better service you receive. We all know that's not the case. So what's the problem?

Henry Ford is the father of the assembly line and mass production. He revolutionized the way a factory works. He made production much more efficient and larger quantities were easier to come by. Do you know where I'm going with this? This process should not be carried onto food. If you're making something for a big banquet, okay, that's fine, but at a regular restaurant, unacceptable. At least I wish it was unacceptable. We're used to efficiency and making sure that things can be done faster. Do you really want this approach at a restaurant? Do you want to be treated like a product that comes down the conveyor belt? A customer should be treated like the restaurant is happy to have their service, like the customer is doing them a favor by showing up. There's a great scene in the TV show, That 70's Show (which obviously takes place in the 1970's) where a couple go out to a restaurant (conveniently named, Blannagan's) at the advent of the salad bar. The waiter informs them that they can go up to the salad bar and choose whatever toppings they'd like. The couple is baffled and the husband asks why his wife would want to go out to a restaurant and make her own salad when she could do that at home. Why don't we question this anymore? Go get your own food? No, I go out because I don't want to make my own food. I want to feel like I'm paying for something other than groceries.

I understand that being a waiter/waitress is not an enjoyable job and not necessarily something one aspires to do. However, it's still a job that you're being paid to do. There are restaurants out there that value the customer and value service towards them. Rather than having the attitude of "You need us to eat," these places have the attitude of "We need you to eat." The obsession with big business and the bottom line every night obscures many restaurants from providing quality service and ensuring long term success and customer loyalty. Oddly enough, all restaurants thrive on the customer coming into eat there. If you think about it, do all restaurants act like the customer is their raison d'etre? No, the customer is a product that needs to be quickly shot through the line so the next product can be prepped. Try this the next time you have people over. Greet them gruffly at the door, take away their salad before they're done, serve dinner before they're ready, and keep looking at the door until they leave. See if they return.

Panzano Happy Hour Review

Okay, I have not been offered any money by Panzano's, but I'm beginning to believe I should be. I have told everyone I know about this happy hour. I first visited Panzano years ago for 5280 week and had an enjoyable experience and looked forward to going back. For whatever reason I stayed away. However, an article in the Wall St. Journal caught my eye, and it briefly mentioned Panzano's Happy Hour. After viewing their menu, I immediately decided I would be back for at least one hour of happy. Two weeks ago I went, and I was happy. So happy that I returned this past week, and we'll return next week (Wednesday, look for me). $3 beers, $3 appetizers, and $4 small plates. I had a beer, very tasty calamari, not too tough, a delicious small plate of steak, mashed potatoes and a spinach/arugula blend all for $10. The sad fact is that this is the cost of a Qdoba burrito and a drink. The quality levels aren't even close. This filled me up, not fat-style but European-style (meaning I didn't want to puke after I finished). I highly recommend their happy hour. The odds of you being disappointed are slim. If you are disappointed, you're probably difficult to please.

How We Roll

I had a couple of points of inspiration for this post. Most recently was an article in the Wall Street Journal. Famed New York restaurateur Danny Meyer discusses the dining industry and where he sees it going as a result of the economic downturn. He mentioned how he expected fewer fine-dining establishments, which makes sense, and a different view of food. This quote, in particular, concerned me: "People are thinking about how much of their time they have to spend, how much of their stomach they are going to fill and how many of their dollars they will have to part with." My problem with this quote is that I believe people (Americans) are already doing this and have been doing this for a long time. My question is should we expect it to get worse?

This leads me to my other inspiration for this post, Wal-Mart. I know you've heard me talk about it before and maybe you think that I've killed that topic; however, it needs to be brought up again. It seems like the big issue mentioned above is money and time. In the current climate, most are short on money and everyone wants more time. The important thing to note is that both can be managed, and although you can increase the amount of money you have, time is finite.

I know I've made my case quite clear on how I think one shouldn't skimp on food, and I still strongly support my stance. Perhaps if I illustrate it in a different way, one might better understand my view. Let's examine what I'll call the Quality/Cost Analysis. Think of your basic X/Y Axis. On the X axis, you have quality, on the y axis, cost. Let's assume that as cost increases, quality also increases and vice versa. America is comfortable sitting at the corner of cost and quality. We're more than willing to sacrifice quality for a cheaper price. Guess what? This is where Wal-Mart comes in (note: I am not attacking Wal-Mart, but they are easiest to use in this illustration). Has Wal-Mart programmed us to look for the best deal regardless of the quality of the product? I know many people who will stop by Wal-Mart for a couple of things but refuse to step foot in their produce section. Why? Because Wal-Mart doesn't work as hard as other grocers in ensuring the quality of their product. On the way to providing you the cheapest price, something has to be sacrificed. Think about this the next time you choose a restaurant for your birthday or some other special occasion. Save some money and go somewhere where quality is valued.

My other target is McDonald's, fast food's founding father. In McDonald's, a culture of "not enough time" has been created. Feel free to stop by for a meal that will be ready in seconds. We can look to the Quality/Cost Analysis for a similar graph of Time/Cost Analysis. As time to prepare your food increases, so should quality. If you spend more time dedicated to something, you should produce a better product (in theory). Why don't we have enough time? Where is it we have to be? What keeps us from getting out of our cars to order food? These are valuable questions to ask. What's wrong with spending 3 hours at a restaurant with enjoyable company? Isn't this why the DVR was invented? You don't have to get back home to watch your "show."

In summary, I'm not telling you to stop shopping at Wal-Mart or to avoid the drive-thru line at McDonald's, but think about it the next time you find yourself at either place or somewhere like it. Ask yourself this, what am I sacrificing here and what am I missing elsewhere? Food may be nothing more than fuel, but humans are high-performing machines and deserve the highest quality of fuel we can find.

My Favorite Cooking Gadgets (Part 2)

I promised to make this a series, and I'm afraid I have failed miserably. Not only has it been a month since my last post, it's been even longer since I professed any affinity for a cooking gadget. I knew it was time for another post, so I started glancing around the kitchen. What gadget/tool deserves my praise? Seeing the Santoku knife sitting by the sink waiting to be washed yet again, I had my answer. You see, hand washing is necessary for good knives, if you want them to retain their sharpness. They tend to dull out quickly in the dishwasher. This knife spends a lot of time sitting by the sink, not out of neglect but out of good use. I end up using this knife daily. Even though I have knives that are properly labeled utility knives, this one is my 'go-to knife.' In baseball, it might be a solid middle reliever. In football, it might be a quality tight end that can catch and block. (I have to use sports analogies to further prove my masculinity since I'm writing a love post to my knife).

So, what makes this knife so great? First off, what makes any knife great is how sharp it is. For those of you who don't care about this, you don't know what you are missing with a sharp knife. I recently cut an onion, or I should say, attempted to cut an onion with a dull knife, and it was the most frustrating thing. I put so much force into slicing through it, that I was afraid I was going to slice right through the onion into my hand. However, I realized the knife was incapable of penetrating my skin. Sharp knives make you look like an accomplished chef. The above picture shows my knife with one of the most commonly chopped items in my kitchen, the zucchini. A good knife moves through vegetables like soft butter. Unfortunately, a good knife will move through your skin without you feeling it until you see blood. The key is knowing how to use it. Another tool that won't get its own column is the knife sharpener. It is essential in maintaining the sharpness of your knives. Maybe, if you're still reading this, you're saying to yourself: "who needs a good knife? I'm not an accomplished chef. I just cook every now and then." Well, why buy something that makes work harder? Buying a cheap knife is like buying a shovel with a hole in it. Sure, you're going to pick up some dirt, but most of it will fall through the hole making your task more frustrating. My intention wasn't to rant, but I want you to purchase one quality knife and put it to work for you. My suggestion for a cheap quality knife that does excellent work on meat or used as a paring knife. This one here comes in a set. Remember, just because it comes to a point and it's shiny doesn't make it a good knife.

Misunderstood

I'm not picky, and I don't think I'm better than you. It gets old defending myself. That's right, I'm misunderstood. I know there's other foodies out there who have been accused of being horrible people. I'm hoping this post will help both sides. Listed below are several myths and explanations about those who enjoy good food.

• If it's cheap, it's not good enough. Money doesn't matter when it comes to food. Ever heard of the term, hole in the wall? These are places that may look a little sketchy on the inside, but serve great food at a reasonable price. The key is not letting money be your only reason for seeking a restaurant. Don't worry about what a great deal you're getting, worry about how it tastes.
  
  
• Portions have to be tiny. Ummmmm, not really. I recently posted about America's lust for the doggy bag. The reason good restaurants don't bombard you with a large portion is because their goal is to make you feel content when you leave the restaurant, not uncomfortable. All-you-can-eat buffets aren't known for their quality just their quantity. Remember, don't obsess about the deal.
  
  
• You're picky. No. This may be my least favorite of the myths. Picky is excluding all sorts of foods and being afraid to taste new things. Placing high regard on quality is not being picky, it's just having high expectations. I like fresh things, so sue me.
  
  
• Chain restaurants are evil. Honestly, there are some horrible chains out there that have ruined food for Americans, Olive Garden being one of my least favorite. However, there are some great ideas that have popped up and become so popular that they launch into chains. If chains are managed right, they can be a good thing. Many of them just concern themselves with being like Wal-Mart and go after being the cheapest. Being cheap all around doesn't always buy one fresh ingredients. You have to be careful.
  
  
• I don't know enough to be a "foodie." Being into food is not like being into wine. It's really not all that complicated. As I've mentioned before, we've all had an amazing meal and know what greatness tastes like. Remember that meal and compare it against future dishes.
  
  
• Food is too big of a deal. Okay, this is not really a myth. Food IS a big deal. How often do you eat? Can you even quantify it? All of the time, right? I think we don't take food seriously enough. With how much food we consume, why don't we care more about how it tastes or how good the quality is?
  

We are a misunderstood people. Non-foodies, use these myths to better understand us. Foodies, be sensitive to non-foodies and encourage them to become one of us. Non-foodies, maybe your stomach is growling, not because you're hungry, but because of what you're putting in it.

Portions

What's impressive? Size? Big house? Big car? Big TV? Super-size it. That's our culture. The more we get, the better it is, right? Sure, I would rather watch sports on a bigger TV and have the luxury of a larger house, but what do I gain from a bigger meal?

Super-size it, Biggie-size, King-size are all synonymous with an overindulgence in food, fast food more specifically. While it's easy to pick on fast food, since they're an obvious target, it's almost not fair. While many crave fast food and sit in long drive-thru lines, there is an understanding that it's not great for you. Let me pick on a place that I have previously targeted, Maggiano's. For those of you unfamiliar with the place, it's a rather popular Italian restaurant that is a part of the same parent company as Macaroni Grill and Chili's. One would say that it is probably more high-end than the others, however it's by no means upscale. I have never seen any one leave this restaurant without a doggie bag. I have a sneaking suspicion that this is Maggiano's goal. Their hope is that you are so full, you take leftovers home. The food is okay, but that's all it is. Instead of producing great food, they wow with huge portions. Similar to a magician using misdirection, they have you excited about how much food you're getting that you don't notice the lack of quality. Remember, we like everything big. We want to think that we're getting a good deal. "Look at all this food for a great price!" "Wow, and I get to take home leftovers for tomorrow!" Is that why you go out to dinner? You hope for another meal for the next day? How is that different from grocery shopping? What's impressive about a restaurant giving you more food than you can possibly consume in one sitting?

To me, it's all about quality--not quantity. I know I'm always mentioning Europe, but they've set a pretty great standard when it comes to eating. Your meal comes out, and you might think, "this isn't enough food;" however, when you're plate is clear, you're full. Note, this isn't an uncomfortable full, a full that requires a desire for an elastic waistband. It is a contented full. You no longer want more food, but you're not in pain. Unfortunately, I've been within earshot of American tourists in Europe who complain about the size of their meal. They think they're getting ripped off because it's not enough food to take home. Sadly, we're pre-programmed to think that we need a lot of food. There are some great domestic restaurants that refuse to cater to our American ways. They insist that they're going to serve an amazing meal in a small (read normal) sized portion. To the uncultured eye, you might think this is not worth the cost until you move your fork to your mouth. There is nothing greater than realizing that a chef sacrificed quantity for quality. Eating a small plate of homemade pasta is far better than several pounds of dried pre-packaged pasta. When I leave a restaurant, I don't hope to be a holding a bag full of what I couldn't finish, I hope to be holding on to the memory of a fantastic meal and hopes to return again.

(My goal isn't to put down anyone that likes this type of food or accuse you of being uncultured. My goal is to get you to question how you think about eating. Do you want quality? If so, seek it. I promise you'll be greatly rewarded.)